Hello, February, and welcome to week five of #LivingLovingWriting. This week I thought I would talk about balance, because let’s be honest, it’s hard. It’s something that I struggle with, especially when it comes to making time for me. Me – writing, running, meal planning, bucket list, scheduling dates with friends, etc. It’s all hard. But what I hope you’ll take away from this week is that’s okay. It’s okay that it’s hard and it’s okay to feel off balance. Just be proud of yourself, because if you’re giving life your all, then at the end of the day you’re doing the best you can. And I think that should be rewarded as well. Let’s celebrate the unbalanced. So, here’s a little bit about me, you may relate, you may not, either way . . . we’ve all got this!
In 2012, my husband and I made the decision that I would stay home for a while to be with our boys. His company was expanding to Europe, which meant he would be traveling more, the boys were little and it was just easier on all of us with me here. I had worked at my previous company for almost ten years, and once that was gone, I remember thinking, “What now?” The summer passed, the boys went back to school, and I suddenly found myself with all this free time, and free space in my brain. It was the emptiness in my head I was most surprised by, I mean if I wasn’t thinking about work, which I had thought about a lot, what was there to think about? Cue fictional characters. Cue my love of writing stories. Cue another part of my soul I just set free and am unwilling to part with.
In 2016, I went back to work and since then I’ve found my brain to be overloaded. I love my job, I do, but as you all know, I love writing stories, too. Toss in the fact that my boys are older and now very active outside of school hours, I went from having tons of brain space to none, and being overwhelmed and unbalanced.
Balance is something I struggle a lot with. The day job, and the boys I’m good with, it’s the things that are good for me outside of that I’m not. If I’m lucky, I get an hour a day first thing in the morning to myself. And I have to choose between words, cleaning, or working out. One has to give and as much as I hate that, I am finally at peace with it. It is what it is. I’m doing the best I can. And if you’re wondering about nights, Wednesday night is the only night we don’t have kid stuff. Also, by the time we walk in the door and I get dinner done, I’m exhausted. My brain is mush.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind being busy. I love this phase of our life, and like all phases it will be over before I know it. But the only problem is, with being busy, I feel like my life is flying by. Weren’t we just celebrating New Years? And now, here we are moving on to Valentine’s, and discussions about spring break and summer camps. Did you know my oldest son passed me in height in October and just like that he’s at least three to four inches taller than me? I still look at him and think when did that happen, weren’t you just like six years old?
So, why do I mention this, because I know I’m not the only one who feels like balance in life is hard. This is a twenty thousand foot view of me, and I know that each of you live and feels something similar to me. We’ve all seen the quotes that say, “We all make time for what we feel is important,” and “Nobody is too busy, it’s just a matter of priorities,” and “It’s not about having time, it’s about making time,” and really what I have to say to these people who preach these things is mind your own business.
Are there some truths to these, absolutely, but sometimes I think we need to step back, give ourselves some grace, and just enjoy the ride. Life is hard, and we’re all doing the best we can, and that just needs to be good enough. Embrace the chaos. Be grateful for the talents, gifts, and opportunities you’ve been given. And mostly feel at peace by loving what you have and who you are.
QOTD: If you had to give up one thing in your life to find more balance, what would it be? And would it be worth it? (And I know what you’re thinking here, your job LOL, but without it you would be poor and you’d lose your home, and then it wouldn’t be worth it.) As for me, I’m going to bear hug the stress in my life, and then pat myself on the back. I’ve got this and so do you.
The picture above is from this morning. Today, I chose to run the trail with my dear friend KellyC. No, I did not get any words down for Lessons in Lemonade, and that’s okay. It has to be. At least you now know why it takes me nine to thirteen months to put out a book! #livingmybestlife