Little by little I am pushing my way through the first half of this new book… I forwarded out my Prologue to a few of my beautiful and honest friends and they loved it. I am sharing it with all of you. (Note: It is unedited, do not copy or duplicate)…
That’s all I was given. That’s all that was said.
I knew this moment was coming and I didn’t really expect much to happen, well maybe I did a little, but it was just the silence of the moment that I can’t seem to forget. The silence is so loud that I can actually hear the air ringing off of my eardrums. I want to throw my hands over my ears to make it stop.
Two words….eight letters that have forever changed my life.
I thought that I would feel different. I don’t know why. I’m sure it’s coming, the difference, but at this moment I don’t really feel like anything has changed. This moment looks just like the moment an hour ago and I suspect that in one hour from now the moment will be pretty similar. Or maybe it won’t.
I think that maybe I’m frozen in this moment. My father is sitting next to me in the other high back chair. I can see him out of the corner of my eye and he is leaning over with his elbows on his knees and his head is dropped down. There is soft piano music playing, it is coming from somewhere in the background and the sun light is streaking rays through the window into the room. I can see the dust particles as they swirl around in the air.
My hands are down next to me and my fingers keep rubbing the fabric of the chair, back and forth back and forth. The fabric feels almost like velvet, so soft. I officially hate velvet.
I continue to watch the dust swirl and somewhere in the background I can hear voices, but I don’t know what they are saying. The ringing in my ears has turned to more of a thumping. My pulse, my heartbeat, I focus on the thumping and the dust.
Someone touches my shoulder and it breaks me from my frozen moment. I turn to look up and see my father. I can’t help but notice the dark rings under his eyes. He looks like he has aged so much recently, how had I not noticed this sooner. He shouldn’t look like this, he’s only thirty nine.
It’s then that I realize the moment has changed. Everything has changed. I can feel my heartbeat drop from my ears to my chest and as I look around it begins to pound faster and harder. I can feel the imprint of the dragonfly on my skin and it feels like a hole is being burned into my heart. The room has gone dark, I can’t see the dust and my eyes begin to blur with tears. The music isn’t playing and she isn’t here anymore.
Two little words.